Things couldn't possibly get any worse.
I feel kind of bulletproof...and numb...and relief and horror all at once.
First the shock--disbelief--panic--then an unspeakable violence--sheer unbridled anger...punctuated with waves of despair
And then
numbness.
empty.
hollow.
What's the opposite of Nirvana? I think I've reached it...I think I'm there...
And alone.
Completely alone...no one to turn to for help--and even no one to call upon for understanding--release
as I continue in this downward spiral--
being torn at--
mutilated--
bled and bled until I am nothing.
I am nothing.
I wish I was nothing.