syd-vicious

Things couldn't possibly get any worse. I feel kind of bulletproof...and numb...and relief and horror all at once. First the shock--disbelief--panic--then an unspeakable violence--sheer unbridled anger...punctuated with waves of despair And then numbness. empty. hollow. What's the opposite of Nirvana? I think I've reached it...I think I'm there... And alone. Completely alone...no one to turn to for help--and even no one to call upon for understanding--release as I continue in this downward spiral-- being torn at-- mutilated-- bled and bled until I am nothing. I am nothing. I wish I was nothing.